Hello! In this post I’m going to continue with the explanation of this blog and I’ll tell you a little bit more about my life. If you’re new here, I’m a male 17-year-old that will talk about his “mistakes” as a teenager.
As I said (wrote) yesterday, you’ll see a lot of euphemisms in this blog. For example, “playing with myself”, which I don’t I have to explain. If it sounds weird to you, it’s OK, I totally understand; but that’s what this blog will be about: my mistakes as a male teenager. And you might think that PWM is not bad at all, it helps you relax, burn calories, and feel “happy”. But I’m a very religious guy (or I’m trying to be), and my little friend down there is not helping. And yes I understand that masturbation is not 100% wrong and it’s very natural for a teenager to do it; but what I don’t like, oder that being consider a sin by my culture, is that, even when you want to stop, you can’t. You think to yourself “it’s gonna be OK”, that you’re just daydreaming, that it would be just for a few seconds, and the it happens. You feel excitement running through your body, you feel good with yourself, you feel like a bad boy, and then you reach the top of the mountain, there’s pain, and something sticky is coming out of you.
You make you believe that it’s fine, it’s totally normal, it happens to everybody. You say to yourself that this would be your last, that next time would be different, but it’s the same song playing on repeat. You try to stop it, but it’s harder after each time. The first game is full of pain and shame, but you start to like it and you get used to it. Until one day the pains disappear, you feel released, and not a little bit ashamed. Now you think that from now on, it would always be like this: happiness. So try it the next day, daydreaming and fantasizing about the same thing you did yesterday, you sut the windows, everything is dark, you lay on you bed, laying in your stomach, so could feel this better. So you start, you go, you run, you feel it coming, it’s here, it’s near, oh, you like it, yeah, it’s happening; but something inside you tells you to stop, that that’s wrong, and you start to think, when you’re supposed to let it go. You want to stop, you’revfreaking out, but it’s too late, it’s too close. And you feel it leave your body, with a silent scream of pain, with a broken hope of happiness.
Again, I’m sorry if you don’t like what I’m saying, but it’s just something that I’m tired of doing and I need to take it out of me. This blog is my new way of stoping it from happening again. I hope it could help you as much as I hope it would help me.
If you have any questions or opinion, you could leave a comment. I will totally appreciate it!
Trying To Be Gooder 